Feeding jerks


You don’t always want to feed people.
I whole heartily support breaks and time off. I support giving yourself the space you need when you can’t be bothered to cook for another person.
I also heartily support looking into the reason you’re tired of cooking for others.
Sometimes it comes simply from over committing or busy times. Sometimes it comes from other places though, disappointment with friends ability to get back to you or lack of interest from the neighbors you invited over, peoples inability to remember to offer to bring anything or their frustration at having to drive ‘all the way’ to your house.
Sometimes people are jerks. Sometimes those people will be your friends.
I encourage you to feed them even when they are jerks. Sometimes even especially when they are jerks. I also encourage honest conversations at the dinner table though and I think there should be room in good relationships for honesty, and if it’s hard to do the work of preparing a meal for that friend, of making an effort to fill them up and build your friendship, I think mentioning that is the right thing to do.
Telling a friend that you’re tired of feeding them isn’t always the right thing but letting them know that it’s hard to feed a vacuum without anything in return can be way better than trying to give more than you have.

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